West of Bastard was set up as a decoy: DJ Lumpy interview Pt 2

Anyone who missed part 1 of this interview may find it helpful to read the first part and in particular the interviewee’s important note (here).

4. What made you set up the West of Bastard club and for how long did it run?

I was asked to set up West of Bastard by then PM, Tony Blair, when he revealed that The Russians had developed Bootleg seeking Nuclear Warheads. West Of Bastard was set up to act as a decoy, thereby protecting the Capitol. For this service, I gained a CBE in the 2007 new year’s honours. I stopped running West Of when Eric Prydz got in the charts, thereby making the Russian missile technology obsolete. These days, they use weapons guided by crap TV talent shows, and for some reason, the bastards arent using them – are you reading this, Putin?

Pure and simple? I wanted to go to a Bootleg night, but couldnt afford to go to London and visit Bastard. Dont get me wrong, I’ve visited a few times, witnessing DSICO abandoning the genre, Roy Hellraiser tearing the place a new one by playing Kids In America and even myself playing along to Higher State of Timekeeping with a Swanee Whistle (the ethnic 303). These visits were few and far between, simply cos I was totally Brassic, living off the British tax payer as I was. Originally, I was going to call the night ‘Boots On In Bed’, but a quick rethink followed by an email exchange with Mike Cartel [interview here and here] to see if he minded the homage, and I chose the catchier ‘West Of Bastard’.

The deal with West of was that I never charged for the night, hence never had any cash to give to visiting dj’s, GYBO visitors and such. Instead, all I could offer was the chance to play to a new crowd (who sometimes attended), the infamous ‘Sweat Chilli’, and an all back to mine for a pissed up unwind and sleepover, during which my dog would try and either hump your leg, steal your sarnies, or use you as a pillow.

West Of ran at three venues in Bristol – The Croft, The Arc Bar, and The Hatchet. The early days at The Croft were hilarious, unusual things, where we made it up as we went along. The Croft was on a Monday night (tough to get a crowd), but featured such luminaries as The E-Jitz (down from Aberdeen), Dj Payroll, The Acclaimed Bums, Bush No 10, Churchill, Elektrik Cowboy, Matt Catt, and Act Of Dog (in his first live performance). We also had IDC and Go Home Productions down to promote some vinyl to about 3 people. It was at The Hatchet that I was almost thrown out of my own night for brandishing a balloon, whilst wearing a rainbow colour dress and a knotted hankey.

The Arc Bar was what I like to call our popular period. It was a cracking little venue when it worked, filling boisterous wednesday nights with fun and frivolity from Mr Whitelabel, Lionel Vinyl, E Z Lee, and the usual suspects. Alas and alack, nights here didnt last – West Of 13 ended up being triple booked by the new bar manager who decided to open up the wednesday night slot to his mates, meaning that Nick DDF had come all the way over from Germany just for a few beers.

At this point I have to mention a few names. Firstly, Lionel Vinyl, who produced all of the good West of Bastard posters. Secondly, Phil, Dog, Tim Bearcub and Steve Supercollider, who made the journey to almost all of the nights that I put on. Lastly, and most importantly, Pete Juxtaposeur and Angus Andrewherring, who became my partners in crime for the last outing of West of Bastard, at The Hatchet.

Pete and Angus came on board when running West Of became too much for me. They helped me bring West Of to its final resting place, The Hatchet. At the time of The Arc Bar, Pinky and I split up and eventually divorced. During this trying time of self-doubt, the friends I had made through GYBO really came into their own. I could embarrass a few people by mentioning incredible gifts of free cars and flights to San Francisco, but it’s not my, or their, style to make a big deal about things like that, and it also detracts from the other incredible support that I had from the folks at GYBO.

The Hatchet was an exercise in beautiful frustration. There were some terrific performances from the likes of The Pirate Djs, Soundhog, Juxtaposeur, Supercollider, and the usual suspects. Alas, the hostile management and ludicrous sound system (in mono!) with its likkle quirks (switched off for a minute at 11:00) meant that West Of Bastard became a real uphill struggle from here. In all, I think that West Of Bastard lasted about two years in its club incarnation. It was fun while it lasted, and Pete, Angus and I were able to carry the spark a little further by producing the WOBcast series of podcasts (http://www.thejuxtaposition.co.uk/wobcasts2.html), which in turn evolved into another club night, Eclectic Kettle.)

5. You had LV15 come down for a few of West Of events. How did that go and has your sofa recovered?

It was ok up to a point. After therapy, the sofa is now fine and well, although we had to give its puppies away through the local paper.

It has been my pleasure to have Rob in my life three times, each time for about a week, and each time involving epic all night marathons of music, mirth and moaning. On his first visit, I asked him “So, how did you get into bootlegs?” Rob being Rob, he then spent 30 minutes explaining to me exactly how awkward I was feeling to have asked such a lame question as an opener, but that it was ok, as he wasn’t the best in social situations either. We then just got down to it, and explained our life stories to each other over tea and smoke. Suitably grounded in each other’s experiences, we then took the piss out of the rest of the world for the rest of the week, with occasional breaks to pee, make more tea, and run a bootleg night.

The second time I met Rob, we did the same thing, only with less preamble and more booze. The last time I met Rob LV15 was when he, Matt Catt and I went out to Trier in 2004 for International Bastard 2. We had gone out early, ostensibly to help Nick DDF with the setting up of the nights. What actually happened was that the four of us had an adventure, involving frightening energy drinks, a bag of leftover weed, pancakes ‘mit soup’ and lots and lots of hamsters. During this lunacy, someone left us in charge of putting up decor in a nightclub. I can’t speak for the others, but I know that I put up some very random signs, dangled Mars bars from the ceiling at head height, and tied all of the chairs together. The last I saw or heard of LV15 was flicking his ear as he got on a Tube in London. I miss him.

6. What are you up to now? And what role does music now play in your life?

Having grown bored with the frenetic pace of rock n roll lifestyle that killing braincells in a call centre provided, I did the dirty and became a teacher instead. Currently, the rain in Nottingham is providing a nice counterpoint to my day of watching crap films whilst avoiding planning lessons.

I stopped making Bootlegs in 2005. After the divorce, and with the death of West Of, I just couldn’t make them anymore. I had reached the end of my talents, and I realised that I would have to learn something about music to continue. These days, post West Of and Eclectic Kettle, I only play out once or twice a year. I still make mixes though, which can be found here:

http://www.thejuxtaposition.co.uk/DJ-Lumpy.html and here: http://www.mixcloud.com/djlumpyrulesok/

I don’t regret my life as a Dj. I’ve made some great friends, listened to great music, and had a lot of unusual experiences, sometimes simultaneously.

Free download: Norman Loves Ursula – DJ Lumpy [Fatboy Slim vs Ursula 1000]

~ by acidted on November 6, 2012.

One Response to “West of Bastard was set up as a decoy: DJ Lumpy interview Pt 2”

  1. […] DJ Lumpy Pt1 and Pt2 […]

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